Akatsuki Interview - Itachi

Q: What is your favorite word?
A: My favorite word is any word that had not been used since at least the late seventeen hundreds. Why must human be so mainstream? If we all resort to using "aint" and  “cuz”  in casual conversation, the English language will descend into nothing but abbreviations and disrespectful slang. So why hurry along such a beautiful thing as the act of speech? Every word...every respectful word...is sacred to me.

Q: What is your least favorite word?
A: If it’s disrespectful, and it’s directed at me, or one of my dearest friends, then I hate it.

Q: What turns you on?
A: Intelligence. Kindness. And, oddly enough for me, cuteness. I have not the faintest idea why, but if with kindness comes even an ounce of cuteness, I’m head over heels. Of course, if it’s man...only if it’s a man. Those and invulnerability. Like Kisame, for instance. He’s tough. But, he’s also very smart, (in fact, getting paired with a brute would’ve made this job less enjoyable) And he’s especially sweet to me. He compliments me every chance he gets. But he has this air of imperviousness about him, which makes him all the more attractive...like he’d be much more of a challenge, a fun challenge to seduce...He’s perfect for me......Oh my God.

Q: What turns you off?
A: Women. Women and stupidity. You know who is neither of those? Kisame. He’s so cute...

Q: What is your favorite sound?
A:...What? Oh, yes, yes, yes...umm...The ruffling of bed sheets. Not in a sexual way, necessarily. I know that’s exactly what you thought when I first said that. It’s just a soothing sound is all. Don’t ask me why that is.

Q: What is your least favorite sound?
A: White Noise. More is less, is it not? Or perhaps I should stop staying up late with Kisame and Hidan watching Silent Hill. Now all I dream of is looking into the eyes of Dark Alessa and dying.

Q: What is your favorite curse word?
A: Damn. Simple, I know, but you can say it dramatically, angrily, and just about any other way you can think of.

Q: What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
A: I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to work. Not because I’m lazy, if there’s one thing I’m not it’s lazy, but If Akatsuki does come to an end before I come to an end, then I’d want to live somewhere cheap with my love (and I think you all know who that’s going to be once this interview is over.) and just do whatever we feel like doing. I don’t want money to be an issue.

Q: What profession other that yours would you not like to attempt?
A: Something underground or underwater.

Q: If Heaven exists,  what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
A: Heaven. Don’t talk to me about Heaven. I’m going straight to hell, straight into darkness when my time here is up. But, even Hell can be Heaven if I’m with the right person, no?